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Self Conscious

4/17/2014

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Self conscious
I believe that we are all self conscious. How others see us, how they draw conclusions about the way they think we are; we all care about that, some more than others.

I recall my first 'outing' from the rehab hospital. Five of us patients were herded into the van along with the four support staff. We went to a local restaurant. We were clearly the room's main attraction. Everyone looked and many watched. Some patrons seemed uncomfortable, some had the 'those poor folks' look, some had the 'that's so nice they get out' look, some ate up and left quickly.

I was very uncomfortable. I was learning to use new equipment and still developing methods and control to feed myself.

Since that time, I've learned to be quite adept with the equipment and have a good method of eating. A look at my belly confirms my skill level. I don't think much about how I appear to others anymore. I just focus on the task at hand.

Until I saw the attached picture of me eating my birthday cupcake, I hadn't really thought about my tools and methods for a long time. I have a disability and this is how I do it. Sometimes, you get icing on your nose. I guess my adjustment to disability process has come a long way, too...

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