I am a very structured person. My daily routines don't vary much. It is odd that with such consistency and regularity that today seems so much more difficult and challenging than yesterday. This is on, both, a physical and emotional level. 
        Are the planets out of alignment? Is the pull of gravity stronger today? Are my weird dreams having an effect? I guess I'll have to follow my own instruction and work on finding a more positive response today.

        Well, here we are, the final episode. Positive thinking, easy to talk or write about; hard to do. Maintaining a positive attitude, a positive outlook; difficult to do. If this is something you really want, then I have outlined all the steps you need to put it into action.
        Just remember a few key points:

1. Dog poop sticking to my wheels.
    Reaction:  "Dammit, shit !!" 
    Response: Now, what do I need to clean this with; how close are my tools; I have to
        minimize the tracking. Finish the job, get on with my day.
2. Spilling the milk.
    Reaction: " !$@&**^))++%%@^@!!+_|(^" 
    Response: Now, what do I need to clean this with; how close are my tools; I have to 
        minimize the tracking. Finish the job, get on with my day.
3. You have a grade 4 stage 4 tumor.
    Reaction: "A what? Dammit, Shit. !$@&**^))++%%@^@!!+_|(^"   
    Response: First was the typical what do we need to do? Second was the crying. Third was 
        developing the plan of attack. Fourth was the crying. Fifth was staying focused on not 
        falling apart and sticking to the plan.

Hey, it's not just a positive attitude, it's an adventure!

        Well, we are cementing the ideas of reactions vs responses, negative vs positive self talk; how much effect our emotions have on our entire day and our attitude. The scenarios we have looked at are really minor, yet, each one can ruin an entire day if you don't find a positive way to respond. How about some really major life circumstances? Just how the heck do you find the silver lining, make lemonade and look at the bright side of:

        All of these will test even the most positive, strong people we know. All of these will produce a highly emotional reaction. All of these can be handled in a positive way. I'm not saying that any one of us will skip down the road singing joy-joy-joy after being diagnosed with cancer. I'm saying that we can turn a devastating situation into one that is manageable. I'm saying you can find a more positive approach. Because, developing all of this positive response, all these positive thinking skills comes down to adjusting our attitude!

    Attitude: a state of mind, a feeling, your disposition. Once again, your emotional reaction and response to a given situation. Keep thinking about this. Keep practicing:

        Working to find a better state of mind, feeling, disposition; finding a more positive attitude will assist you to manage every situation in your life.

        Something you may have discovered, as I have, is that we are geared toward reacting in a negative way to annoying, inconvenient, difficult and challenging situations. We don't concern ourselves with positive thinking at the birth of a child, winning the lottery or getting a pay raise. It's only during negative situations that we have to try and find a path to a positive response. 
        Regarding the scenarios, I hope that after you pictured / imagined your initial [probably negative] reaction, you could come up with some positive self talk to put a positive response spin on each. The best method I have discovered is:

        Keep the positive thinking, positive self talk response in your daily routines. Practice, practice, practice... Next, we'll address more serious, more devastating situations.

        Choosing how you respond always sounds fairly easy. Putting it into action, well, takes work. I am taking for granted that each of you are clear up to this point. You understand the difference between how you react and how you respond. You now have a better idea whether you are a positive or negative kind of person. Now we have to start down the road of practicing how to choose a positive response.
         Each situation and it's level of importance to you will churn up the emotions. Higher level of importance, higher level of emotion, higher degree of difficulty to respond positively. Let's start our practice with some of what I am calling low importance situations. How would you respond to these scenarios:
[remember responding comes after reacting; how will you respond positively?]

Tomorrow: Let's see how you did...

        Looking in the mirror. This is going to be a challenge. It is very difficult to be brutally honest with and about yourself. Even tougher, you will need to check your self assessment with someone who will be gentle, but, brutally honest as well. You need to be accurate here. Are you able to see the real you?
        First, what kind of personality do you have? How do you view your world and what's happening in it? How do you usually react ?

        Right away, even though these are initial emotional reactions, they are indicators of the kind of person you are.  A person who has a more positive personality knows that these reactions happen, that the situation is only a small part of life, that they will do better next time. Practicing some positive self talk. A more negative personality plays the role of the victim; that maybe someone else caused this to happen, that this is the worst thing that could have ever happened, that they need to verbalize their misery to anyone and everyone. They get stuck in a negative self talk loop.
        In yesterday's spilled milk example, even though I consider myself a positive type of person, I usually react negatively. This is an inconvenience, it's difficult, it's not what I wanted... WahWahWah... However, once I finish that release, I choose a more positive, practical response. The great thing is, we can all choose how to respond.
        Of course, we have to teach ourselves how to respond in a positive way; learning to be a positive thinker.
        Next time: Choosing your response...

        To get started on the path to being a more positive thinker, realize that this is a conscious purposeful action. That means that the rational, practical part of your brain will have to provide more of the output than the emotional part of your brain. I am calling this the reaction [emotional] versus the responsive [rational] ways that we can act toward any given situation. The reaction occurs immediately, you don't really have any time to think. It is close to being involuntary. 
        For example, I dropped the milk getting it out of the refrigerator, the lid popped and milk was pouring on to the floor. I didn't think, I reacted, pure emotion. I let out my favorite string of curse words while moving my feet out of the way. Tried to save some milk by grabbing at the container and got to watch it pour out faster. String of curse words times 2. Well, it is now 45 seconds later, the jug is empty and the tidal wave of milk has stopped moving across the floor. 
        NOW, my brain kicks into gear, the more rational side is problem solving, I am responding: there is a half gallon of milk on the floor and it must be cleaned up. Should I try paper towels or a bath towel to start soaking it up? Maybe a mop and bucket. I will have to back up my wheelchair while lifting my feet so I don't leave a milk trail to the linen closet [I have decided on a BIG towel]. Fifteen minutes later, I will have laundry to do. What can I have for breakfast, now?
        HERE IS THE A-HAH MOMENT: If you were in the same situation, would your emotional / reactive side CONTINUE to rule the situation? Oh, I am so stupid, so clumsy. Who didn't screw the lid on tight? I'm so angry I have to clean this up. Now look, I have to do laundry. Now I have to mop the floor, too. Get out of my way dog. You're making this worse. Where is that container; I threw it pretty far. Now look, I have to clean the wall. Why does this always happen to ME? Reactive / emotional side keeps you grumping for at least a 3 hour stretch. This is commonly called negative thinking and negative self-talk.         
        OR, did your rational side take over? OK, OK, take a breath. What do I have to do, what order should I do it in? I'll clean it up and get all the towels in the house for a full laundry load. The floor really was dirty and needed mopped anyway. I need to call my  wife and ask her to pick up more milk.  I think I'll have toast for breakfast. The practical, more positive response to an inconvenient situation. 
        And yes, you may have seen this coming: Why cry over spilled milk? It was an accident. Accidents do and will happen. Is there any way it can be prevented from happening again? We really can't stop the reaction / the emotion, at the moment of impact, but, we can decide what we are going to do about it. We can choose our rational response. We can choose positive thinking and find a positive response. 
        Next time: looking into the mirror.

        There is no doubt that being a positive thinker, an optimist and having a positive attitude are all good things. "Look on the bright side, make lemonade, find the silver lining" are some of the comments you might hear as people try to steer us down a more positive road when we encounter difficulties.
        While these comments are well intended and can help to make a difference, they never come with a guide or an instruction manual. Just how do you propose I find that silver lining or the bright side?  Right now, I just want to lash out. I'm angry, frustrated, annoyed, hurt, disappointed...
        So, the next few Discussion Blog entries will be devoted to figuring out HOW to be a positive thinker. First, be aware that some of us naturally lean toward seeing a more positive or a more negative side of any given situation. Some of this 'lean' is just part of each person's natural wiring based on family genetics, chemistry and other biological components. However, being able to see the positive side to circumstances is a skill, a learned behavior. And, like most skills, some are better at it than others; some have to practice more than others; but all have to make a conscious effort "to look for the silver lining, make lemonade and find the bright side". It is an action. It is a response to a stimulus. 
        Positive thinking. Everyone can do it. Anyone can learn how. All we need are some lessons. Don't worry, life will provide us with plenty of practice opportunities.