We just returned from a long weekend in North Myrtle Beach SC. Forty blocks of Resort Hotels, hotels, motels and home rentals lining both sides of the street. I can't imagine the number of people in  this 'small' area. During the weekend, I saw on person using a wheelchair and another with a visible limp. That was it. Where are the people with disabilities? One census number notes that there are 17.2 million adults that have  difficulty walking. They  may or may not need a wheelchair, walker, crutch, or cane. We only saw one other person!
This lack of people with clearly apparent mobility impairments enjoying this resort area makes me wonder where the heck are they? Second to that, why would municipalities and businesses put forth effort and finances to make the area accessible if no one is utilizing the area??
Whaddya think?

Deb and I realized several years ago that making our home the hub of recreational opportunities is the most practical and enjoyable way for us to get our 'kicks'. Three years ago, we had an above ground pool installed. We usually gasp for air when we discuss costs, but, we don't incur the annual vacation road trip expenses, so, it really does equal out quickly.

As it is with EVERY endeavor, my situation ALWAYS creates special challenges and issues. However, we do a great job discussing these issues, our feelings and our concerns before we take the plunge [yes, that was on purpose]. For example, the special challenges for me with the pool:

Admittedly, Deb enjoys the convenience and ability to jump in the water at any time. She makes cleaning the water part of her swim routine and does an excellent job with maintenance. The water always is clear and inviting. Stop by for a dip anytime!

      As we continue to work on our current conundrum [my wife visiting out of town], a situation occurred that has significant influence on the decision.
      Last week I had to give my wife a phone call from the floor of our bathroom. I had fallen getting from the  toilet back to the wheelchair. 'Fallen' makes it sound bad. I lost my balance and, in slow motion, sat down on the floor. Of course, I can't get off the floor without assistance.
      This was not the first time. So, I reached for the phone that dangles from my wheelchair for exactly this kind of problem. I went through my list of people I call when I'm in trouble [an honor and curse to be on THAT list]. Five of five NOT home. So, I called the last on the list, my wife who happens to be in the community working. She'll get home asap.
      Unfortunately, it was a long 2 hours waiting for her to arrive. Using the Hoyer Lift, I was back in my wheelchair inside of 15  minutes. No physical damage, just emotional.
      I'm thinkin' this may influence her trip plans. So much for confidence building...

       My wife and I were just discussing her desire to visit her sister for a few days. The plan being for her to take a trip without towing her husband along.
       She began to take an inventory of all the tasks she performs for me; helping me first thing and last thing during the day as well as any / all other preparation tasks she performs. Once the list was completed, we began to problem solve ways and alternatives to maintain and meet my needs while she would be out of town. I think that she just does so much for me without really thinking about it that once she saw the fully compiled list, it was a surprise and quite overwhelming [to her]. Oddly, she provides so much care without much thought, but, with great love and a sense of duty [responsibility].
       I was not so surprised. I know each and every task on the list, what we need, the best and most efficient methods. I knew how big a deal it would be to me for her to leave. And, while I was having a panic attack inside, externally, I was going along with the plan. There is no rule that says she has to do any of the tasks on our list. She does it because her heart is as big as the planet, and, she loves me [yep, I am BLESSED].
       Now, because of the complications involved in my care, because of the size of her heart, because of her love for me, she doesn't want to go. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that my first reaction is: Great! No more problems. HOWEVER, I love her too, I don't take her time for granted, I knew the size of the list. It IS overwhelming. However, I know that if anyone should get a break, it is my wife.
     We will continue to hammer it out. She wants to go, but, doesn't want to go. I don't want her go go, but, I want her to go; pushing and pulling / pulling and pushing...

Recently, a friend has been pushing hard with the question, "How are you doing?" Clearly, they are aware that things are not totally 'peachy' and are opening the doors wide to avail themselves to let me spill the beans and let it out. This is  a kindness that is truly wonderful. However, some friends seem to feel that if I don't use this opportunity given me, then, there must be a problem in the friendship. Sorry, sometimes not talking about it; getting away from it; finding a distraction is what I really need. Don't worry, we're still friends!

No matter what your circumstances are, all you need is love...

        I am the person who seems to have the most health problems in the family. For that reason, I frequently get most of the attention from friends and acquaintances. 
        What was a real eye opener, though, was how MY problems turned into THEIR problems, too. I became aware that my illness or my injury has a greater effect on each person in the family than I had considered. My disability really is OUR problem. With that in mind, I have to remember to reach out; make comfort and support available to everyone. Share what is going on even if I don't feel like talking about it.
        With that in mind, while it is kind that people show support by crediting me for being so brave, courageous, etc., they need to be reminded that I would give up being the poster child in a hot second if I could get my function back. I also know that the family wishes I could have that, too. I know that I couldn't be 'successful' without them. 'Them' includes aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, cousins, in-laws, etc., etc.. It takes a village to raise a person with a disability...