Just finished speaking to a friend who experiencing a cascade of health problems. As he started to go in for one issue, the doctors are finding that caring for this will be extremely difficult and risky. One barrier after another continues to increase the complexity and the risk. He is realizing that it's serious.
        Of course, for his friends and family, well, they are just scrambling trying to figure out what to say and how to respond. They realize it's really serious.
        In my experience as the recipient for this kind of support, I will share this insight with those of you looking for the right words; be sincere. It is very obvious when you are that uncomfortable. Your discomfort shows through. Your best bet is to just say what's on your mind and on your heart. 
        There is a responsibility on the part of the recipient, too. They must respond in kind. They must be sincere and say what's on their mind and on their heart. We all have to be honest about the situation, it's serious.

        It won't take any of my followers by surprise that I promote focusing on what you can do. That will keep you busy enough that what you can't do is not important. Whether you have a disability or not, it's definitely the kind of positive thinking that helps everyone, anyone, to succeed. Here is a PSA from the U. S. Department of Labor's Office of Disability Employment Policy (ODEP):

        Whether it's a  handicapped parking spot or enjoying the attractions at Disney World, it amazes me how hard people work to abuse every system on the planet.
        Disney has to  adjust how they allow people with disabilities and their companions access to
attractions because: 
        "The move was a response to the phenomenon of disabled “tour guides” who  charge money, sometimes hundreds of dollars, to accompany able-bodied  guests and allow them to avoid long lines"
        Disney had been permitting people with disabilities and their companions to move to the front of the line because of conditions that prevent people from being in a long line. This was such a wonderful and heartfelt move by the Disney Corporation; nice try, folks!! Naturally, there are times when SOME people want to be selfish and self centered.
        Every other comment I have and the vocabulary I want to use, well, this will be a short blog entry. Shame on everyone who is a scammer!

        It's one of those days when my body just isn't getting the memo! It seems that no matter what I'm trying to do, body parts are unwilling and unable to perform their assigned duty. It's this kind of day that gives, both my wife and I, "serious concern". It's the kind of day that I can fall or do some other thing that will result in a problem. Quite honestly, these are the days that can be scary. I don't like paying the price for those kind of 'problems'. Press on; no fear [right!].

        I have discovered over the years that no matter what restroom I use, the accessible stall is always the most popular. 
        My first experience with this was attending a conference in Harrisburg. I was representing my employer in a vendor's booth. I waited for all the participants to go back to the conference before using the restroom. I was able to push the door open easily [ a surprise because they usually have 1,000 pounds of pressure keeping it closed]. There must have been 12 'regular' stalls and 2 accessible ones at each end. All the stalls were vacant except the accessible stalls. As I tried to wait patiently and the time passed, finally, the gentlemen both finished at about the same time. Neither had a mobility impairment and I wondered why they couldn't have used one of the other stalls. I held back my accusatory look and rolled in.
        The previous user had set up camp in there! Newspapers were folded over the grab bars, coffee cup was on the paper dispenser and tell tale ashes on the floor from a smoke. Over the years, I have discovered that this was the attraction to the accessible stall. You could comfortably camp in there and casually take care of your personal business. It's like having your own office, too. Make calls, email, text, etc.
        I guess these campers have never experienced having an urgent moment. Difficult not to wish that moment on them...

        We have our huge annual community event coming up in 3 weeks. There can be up to 100,000 people in town on Saturday if the weather is good. Neighbors and friends generously invite me to go along. While I gratefully decline their offer, I take the opportunity to raise their awareness of what it's like to be in a huge, close crowd in a wheelchair.
        For whatever reason, I am invisible. People trip over me, run into me and ignore me as I yell 'Excuse Me' at the top of my lungs to get by. RARELY, someone may offer to let me slide in front of them so I can see. Usually, I get the look like I've got 3 heads and tentacle arms, but, they still just can't seem to move. The attached picture is a great representation of what it's like to be in a crowd with a wonderful twist!
        So, thank you friends, I have no desire to attend Fort Days this year.

        One of the most difficult issues for me to overcome is not being able to help my wife around the house, especially outside. Cutting the grass, deck care, pool care, flowers, etc. All things that are important to US, all things that she takes care of HERSELF. Of course, we have had this conversation many times and she clearly understands that I absolutely would if I could but I can't, so, no big deal. However, there are days like today that I watch from the window as she diligently attacks the job at hand. I do pitch in everywhere I can. Some days it seems out of balance. We are a great team; I'm blessed that she is able and willing to do all that she does.

        I was just reading an article that posed a real disability dilemma for a school district in Ohio. A first grader was going to begin her first grade in a typical school. Her disability required that she use a service dog. The first grade teacher has a disability. She has severe allergies to animals. 
        The school district is making arrangements for the student to attend first grade in another school farther from home. Was this accommodation a reasonable one?

        Knowing and understanding all the aspects of your disability; I can't stress enough just how important this is!
        Because of the damage to my spinal cord, I get some pretty intense leg spasms. Typically, doctors prescribe medications to keep those from happening. As I have explained to my doctor, while the spasms can be annoying and painful at times, they are actually beneficial to me. First, a good spasm is like an isometric exercise. My leg muscles actually stay strong, in part, due to the spasms. Second, that tension of being a wound up spring, helps me to transfer in and out of my wheelchair. This helps with showers, toileting, dressing and getting into vehicles. 
        Clearly knowing my disabling condition and how it effects me is invaluable to being independent and productive. It also helps the relationship with my doctor. I can explain to him how my body responds and how it effects me in both a positive and negative way. It also helps my relationship with all caregivers. I can explain to them  exactly what to expect in a situation and how we can work together to accomplish a task.
        Do you know your disability?